I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
