I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
