I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize