Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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