Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
