Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
