I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I want her autograph on my taint
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize