This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
