Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
