She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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