i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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