Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
