Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
