lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
