careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
