Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just wanna soil my oats bro
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
