wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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