I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
