i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So much rum. So many feels.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
