my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
