things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
