Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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