Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
