Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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