that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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