Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
