i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
