No stitches, just platelets and will power
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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