dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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