wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
