just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize