when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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