I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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