AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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