Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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