I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize