apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
