I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
