There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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