We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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