And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
