I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
