it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
