please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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