so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
