i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
