all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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