Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
