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well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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