I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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