I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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