is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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