Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
