Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
