She is in my trunk
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
