I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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