those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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