you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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