Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize