My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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