i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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