So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
