Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Randomize
