I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
