Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
