Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
