I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
