I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
only you would photoshop your dick
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
