I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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